Rob Hepler and Terry Bush kiss after being married on Sunset Beach in Vancouver, in Canada. A crowd of about 50 onlookers‑—all strangers‑— applauded at the completion of the ceremony.
"> Rob Hepler and Terry Bush kiss after being married on Sunset Beach in Vancouver, in Canada. A crowd of about 50 onlookers‑—all strangers‑— applauded at the completion of the ceremony.
Not knowing what to expect and feeling a bit nervous, Terry Bush handed the customs form to the Canadian customs official in Vancouver. The form listed Bush and his partner, Rob Hepler, as a married couple.
“So did you guys get married in Vancouver?” the customs official asked.
“Yes,” Bush answered.
“Congratulations,” the customs official said.
Without hesitation, he accepted the couple’s joint customs declaration.
Bush, 51, and Hepler, 45, have been together for eight and a half years. The Wilton Manors residents are realtors and co-owners of Endless Summers Realty on Wilton Drive.
The couple were married in Vancouver on Aug. 19. After their wedding, they embarked on a seven-day cruise to Alaska.
They encountered the friendly customs official upon re-entering Vancouver to catch a flight home. Single, unrelated people are required to fill out separate customs forms. But, under Canadian law, family members in the same household can fill out a single form, which is what Bush and Hepler did.
But when they returned to the United States, they were once again treated like bachelors: They were required to fill out separate customs forms.
For the gay newlyweds, the acceptance of the joint form in Vancouver was one of the most poignant moments of a very memorable week.
Seven-day cruise turns into wedding
The couple had talked about getting married in Massachusetts last year. But they decided against the idea after right-wing groups in that state launched an effort to amend the state’s constitution to ban gay marriage.
“We didn’t want to be part of something that could possibly have been taken away from us,” Bush said. “No matter what happens in this country, we are now legally married in Canada.”
Bush then came up with the idea of turning the Alaska cruise that they had already booked into a wedding and honeymoon. The couple had booked the cruise through Atlantis Gay Vacations. The Atlantis-chartered ship, Celebrity Cruises’ Infinity, embarked from Vancouver, British Columbia.
The two would tie the knot in Vancouver before embarking on a cruise to America’s last frontier. Bush arranged to have the ship’s cabin decorated for the occasion.
But when they left for Vancouver, Bush still wasn’t sure they would have time to complete the process to get a marriage license before the cruise. To his relief, he discovered the process is fairly simple in Canada and does not even require a blood test.
Marriage clerk was ‘friendly and welcoming’
After arriving in Vancouver, they headed straight to the Vital Statistics Agency of Victoria, British Columbia, where they applied for a marriage license. According to Bush, the clerk at the agency was “very friendly and welcoming.”
“She was amazing,” Bush said. “She said, ‘Congratulations. How long have you been together?’”
The clerk gave the couple a list of gay-friendly marriage commissioners who could preside at their wedding. In parts of Canada, such commissioners are the equivalent of justices of the peace.
“She immediately knew which ones to recommend,” Bush said.
“Once we got the license, I thought, ‘My God, he’s really my fiance,” Hepler said.
They picked a name from the list and placed a call to Commissioner Johanna Hickey. She called them back within 15 minutes and offered to marry them later that afternoon, Bush said. But the couple opted to tie the knot the next day.
Canadian Marriage Commissioner Johanna Hickey (middle) poses with Rob Hepler (left) and Terry Bush after their wedding on Sunset Beach in Vancouver, British Columbia. The Wilton Manors couple were married before embarking on a seven-day cruise to Alaska.
Gay-friendly commissioner presides
“Oh, I have the perfect place—Sunset Beach at 8 p.m.,” Commissioner Hickey suggested. The couple accepted.
The sunset ceremony on the beach was a simple affair with just the couple, the commissioner and the couple’s two friends, Stephen Wolff and Al Abreu. The couple chose not to wear tuxedos and to dress casually “because we didn’t want to make it like a straight wedding,” Bush said.
As they stood about to take their vows, a crowd of about 50 people began to gather, Bush said.
“It made us feel a little uncomfortable since we didn’t know how they would react,” Bush said.
But after the ceremony was completed, the crowd applauded. Another pleasant surprise.
Both men said they were surprised that the wedding unveiled so many emotions, and even a few tears.
Hepler recalled the weddings of straight family members and friends.
“I used to think, ‘I will never be able to experience those emotions,’” he said.
Bush paid for late partner’s funeral
For Bush, the wedding brought back memories of his first partner, John Searcy, whom he was with for 18 years before he died in 1995. Even though that union never received any official recognition, Bush paid the $13,000 for his Searcy’s funeral. Later, he also paid for the funeral of his late partner’s mother.
Bush was the beneficiary of Searcy’s life insurance policy. But, unlike a heterosexual spouse, he was not entitled to his pension. Even though his partner worked 30 years for Sears, when he died the pension went to no one.
Bush sent a letter to the human resources department of Sears just to see how they would respond. Sears wrote back and informed him that he was not entitled to Searcy’s pension because he was not a legal spouse.
“The letter was just a big slap in the face,” Bush said.
The state of Florida does not recognize Bush and Hepler’s marriage because the state legislature banned gay marriage years ago.
Opponents of same-sex marriage are currently trying to pass an amendment to Florida’s constitution to prevent the courts from overturning the state’s marriage ban.
Hepler pointed out that every state in the U.S. automatically recognizes heterosexual marriages that are performed in other countries. But their Canadian marriage is considered invalid.
“If our marriage isn’t recognized, then no foreign marriage should be recognized,” Hepler said. “There should be some savvy lawyer who can make that case.”
Bush said he felt “sad because I couldn’t get married in my own country.”
“But I’m thankful that at least Canadians recognize that gays are human beings too. In Vancouver, they considered our marriage just a part of everyday life.”
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Rob Hepler and Terry Bush kiss after being married on Sunset Beach in Vancouver, in Canada. A crowd of about 50 onlookers‑—all strangers‑— applauded at the completion of the ceremony.
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